Part 11: Snagless
Part 11: SnaglessGateon Port
Alright this better be worth it. And flattery is the quickest way to that.
I've come to realize that there's nothing to do but write a novel starring you. So, please let me interview you. Let's begin right away.
...wow! That's beyond incredible! DAVID, you must be an amazingly talented TRAINER despite your appearance! Just interviewing you has excited me to the edge of my seat! Your tale is so thrilling, harrowing and exhilarating! I owe you a huge thanks for agreeing to this interview. Thank you so much!
Interviewing you made me finally realize what was missing from my writing. Reality and inspiration! Those two ingredients were missing from my writing. That's why everything I wrote was never very entertaining. DAVID, thanks to you, my creative energy is growing! I'm going to write a best seller!
Well this is much better, we got the Amulet Coin much earlier compared to last game, though it's still a little late. You only get this if you answer Yes to the three questions, otherwise she'll give you a different item depending on how truthful you were. You get a Quick Claw, White Herb or Mental Herb for zero, one or two yes answers, all of which we can obtain otherwise, whereas the Amulet Coin is only obtainable here. I agree, that's pretty rude if you don't know about this, but why would someone do that, just go up to a interviewer and tell lies?
Uh... thanks?
I have never talked to this Wobbuffet before in my life, but sure.
Do you remember where random bookcases are in this region? You're gonna need to. Also this is the only time in these games this house is useful for anything. How's that for content?
The hottest thing going today has to be wild POKEMON. Huh? You've been to POKE SPOTS? Oh, wow, you're really up on things!
Now don't be rude! I'm sorry about my son. I must say I'm impressed that you're familiar with both BATTLE SIMs and wild POKEMON, especially at your young age. I've decided to take my son to a POKE SPOT soon. Oh, feel free to take that BATTLE CD. I decided that I would rather show my son real POKEMON in the wild.
Alright, where else do bookcases exist in this world that actually have Battle CDs in them after getting our Snag Machine nicked. Because of course that's the trigger.
ONBS
Another one
I think my BONSLY msy be very hungry by now. I'm sure it will be looking for food. Please, save my BONSLY!
Oh! So our BONSLY fled from the ship in the desert? I haven't the faintest idea as to where it could have gone. The poor thing... it must be crying out of fear and hunger... Our BONSLY must be out there somewhere surviving on what food it can forage. Please, look for it again. I know that we've been a terrible burden, but we have no one to turn to but you.
No need to say it. I'm already searching. Hmm... it's not good. There doesn't appear to be any new information with regards to TEAM SNAGEM. It does appear, however, that they aren't involved in any of CIPHER's capers. TEAM SNAGEM must be operating on its own.
I beg your pardon? Oh, no, I don't do BATTLE SIMs. What I'm interested in are the BATTLE CDs themselves. The technology that went into them is quite remarkable. Oh, that's right. I have old analytical data on them somewhere.
Hey, NETT.
...
... NETT's always like this. When something catches his attention, he doesn't hear a thing. You can take that BATTLE CD. Take a break from your adventure for a change.
The little moments from getting a Battle CD are pretty great. If only there was any indication whatsoever of where you could find them.
Ah, finally. Walking around collecting CDs was just the excuse for me to run back and forth purifying Spearow.
Its moveset is shocking, but hey, not every team member is a winner, I'll still choose them regardless.
And of course that was plenty enough for him to evolve.
There's actually zero difference between Normal and Flying types. You imbecile. You fucking moron. Thanks to Spatula City for the nickname.
Here's some more Tutor moves. Pretty good, Body Slam is a great move if you need another physical move that has the bonus paralysis chance. Portobello is the only one who can really use it.
While I remember, we're gonna boost up Fire Blast so it takes a couple more battles before I realise it's out of PP cause I'm just that good. Also dril has some catching up to do, but thankfully I know of a real easy way to do that.
I train with my CASTFORM like this every day. You can have that BATTLE CD. Rather than BATTLE SIMs, I'm much happier running around in the sun. Well, I have to go!
Pre Gym
I see. This is serious, though. Losing the SNAG MACHINE is bad news. But I'm surprised that TEAM SNAGEM still existed. What are they going to do with that SNAG MACHINE, I wonder?
Ah, story triggers have piled up a bit here. We need to leave and come back or he'll just repeat himself.
At PRE GYM, four trainers and I await all challengers. First, you're required to take on the four TRAINERS in knockout matches. You have to beat all four of them in a row. Great, let's do it! Let's get you up on the stage!
We're doing this again. Last time we got a sweet TM in Return for beating Justy, so let's see what we get this time.
Oh good, the trainer levels are around when we first arrived in Phenac. Cool.
Though we're now seeing more and more evolved Pokemon at least.
Alright, some of his Pokemon will survive a few hits. What are they up to today?
...
Thank god I just got Aerial Ace. I also have Shock Wave, so I'm not worried about Double Team in the slightest.
The fact that dril had worse moves than Pursuit really shows how things started for him.
Are you going to do anything else?
No? Okay.
Don't make their strategies seem useful.
Well that was four battles in a row I did.
Great, let's do it! Let's get up on stage! Are you ready? Here we come!
Trainer Battle
Hey those aren't bad levels, this should be something good. I say as I knock out half his team on the first turn.
The Sandstorm from Nosepass is inevitable and Gligar doesn't really care about both Aerial Ace and Shock Wave, alas.
Nosepass is easy enough, but there's something about Gligar that always finds holes in my team I didn't realise I had.
Oh, uh, okay. No healing items and every single trainer in here just used Double Team and nothing else. Cooooooooooool.
Hahaha. It's been five years since I lost like this. I'd like you to have these as something to remember our battle by.
Battling you was a very meaningful experience for me. I'm sure I'll be looking back on our battle and relishing its memory for some time. Thank you.
Wouldn't it be cool if Double Team was postgame instead of Return? Well anyway, while we wait for wild Pokemon to appear, let's head towards some plot or something I guess.
Cipher Key Lair
...HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HERE?
See? He doesn't know either! It's bringing tears to my eyes! Hey, we should go. We should leave this to GONZAP.
Be quiet! We've finally managed to track down CIPHER, haven't we? We're not just leaving now! Hey, you, big lunk! We have business in that building! Stand aside if you don't want to get hurt!
Lunk?! You're calling the dashing and terrific MR. ZOOK a lunk? How dare you! Grrrrr! You're not getting away with this!
Hmm, I wonder how this will go.
Hah, like you had a chance against a Shadow Pokemon we're about to fiiiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuck
WAKIN must have reached the hideout by now and given that SNAG MACHINE to GONZAP.
Hey, you want more of where that came from?
Ugh...
We'll pull back and regroup! Let's get back to the hideout!
Wait a second! You're that brat who was at GATEON PORT! What are you doing here?! You're nothing but bad news! Ever since I saw you, I've had nothing but the worst luck! First, at GATEON PORT, some guy challenged me to a battle out of the blue and promptly stomped me flat. Then GORIGAN gave me one major dressing-down for showing off SHADOW POKEMON without permission. Because of that, he made me stand guard here as punishment. There's one thing I can't figure out, though. How'd GORIGAN ever find out about me anyway? Gaaah! Remembering that is getting me riled! This time, I'll flatten you!
That sure was his life's story there. Hey wait isn't Zangoose a-
Why you do this game? Why?
This will NOT count as a reset, since no matter what you do, you cannot catch Zangoose now. So I also won't go over it. SIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Overall Zook ain't that tough. Since we'll obviously fight him again, I won't make a little graphic until then either. Yay putting things off for my future self to deal with.
Because you fluked out! You only won because you got lucky! That's got to be the answer! I won't battle you again. If you win by a fluke again, my reputation will take a beating! Get lost, punk! If I, the mighty ZOOK, get serious, you'll be crushed in no time!
Damn, it's a shame I'm just a small boy and have nothing that can help me get past two guys. Let's get out of here.
If this is another missing Pokemon... oh wait it's Secc, never mind.
I see... it was TEAM SNAGEM's doing. It's not surprising that they wanted your SNAG MACHINE. Up to five years ago, TEAM SNAGEM was in partnership with CIPHER. But when they lost their SNAG MACHINE, CIPHER gave them up as a lost cause. I thought TEAM SNAGEM folded after that... they must have spotted your SNAG MACHINE somewhere. Oh, my... I'll start investigating TEAM SNAGEM right away. I'll let you know as soon as we discover anything.
We debated sending out a news team immediately, but there's no guarantee that it won't be a trap or another risky situation. I hate to impose, but could you go and investigate for us, DAVID? Thank you. We know that you can be entrusted with this, DAVID. The man who contacted us is named HORDEL. He said he'll be at the OUTSKIRT STAND.
It's where we started and ended the last game, so what's there for us now?
Outskirt Stand
Oh I'm liking this place already.
I worry about my future, you know? Maybe I really need to consider changing my lifestyle.
Now what are you going on about, FOLLY? You're not your usual self. Don't tell me you've forgotten the boss's dream? We're going to own all the POKEMON in the whole wide world.
Well, that's what I'm talking about...
Achoo! Achoo!
Oh! Boss!
Miror B.'s Theme
Oh? Well, if it isn't the super-aggravating little boy who served me up a bitter memory at the POKE SPOT!
For a little exercise after my meal, I'll wipe you out with my elegant steps! Let the music play!
Miror B. Battle
Blessed be us for another encounter. He will never leave our hearts.
His team is a bit dril weak, but because he has a Shadow Pokemon that we, yet again, cannot obtain, it means we'll have to fight him again eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
And he even has a Ludicolo! It has been too long my friend!
But yeah, nothing particularly exciting.
Best Wishes! Until the day we meet again!
ONBS News
It is unclear as to how the ship was transported to the desert, however. CIPHER's motives for taking the ship are also unknown. Unfortunately, there was no sign of the numerous POKEMON aboard the ship. Concern is rising for their safety and welfare.
Outskirt Stand
You see, I fled from CIPHER's KEY LAIR way in the north. Oh? You know that place? Wow, you people at ONBS sure get information quickly. The KEY LAIR is a factory. It was made to mass-produce SHADOW POKEMON. When I discovered that, I was horrified. I came to hate my job, so I escaped. When I fled, I managed to spirit away just one SHADOW POKEMON. But even then, there were already many SHADOW POKEMON. I'm sure they've produced even more since then. While I was with CIPHER, there were rumours about a boy who snags SHADOW POKEMON and purifies them. Might that person be you? If so, I have a giant favor to ask of you. Would you purify the SHADOW TOGEPI that I fled from CIPHER with?
Okay, there you go. Please purify my little guy for me. Besides my little guy, there were many POKEMON that had been turned into SHADOW POKEMON at CIPHER's KEY LAIR. In my desperation to flee, I wasn't able to save other POKEMON... it still gnaws at my conscience, wondering what became of the other POKEMON. If only there were some way of saving them!
Togepi, Gift, starting moves: Shadow Rave/Follow Me, Shadow Shed/Tri Attack, Ancientpower, Helping Hand
Hey just because we don't have the Snag Machine doesn't mean we can't get new Shadow Pokemon! You shouldn't use Togepi, since obviously we're gonna give it back to Hordel, but also because, like the Togetic we got at the end of last game and like the e-Reader postgame Togepi, it's just not a good Pokemon, even if it gets much better moves this time around. Happiness evolutions are a thing, but Togepi starts pretty low to reach the magic 220 friendship and aside from the Soothe Bell and Scents, there's not an easy way to increase happiness in these games.
Buuuuuuuuut, if not using Togekiss appeals to you for some reason, then I guess it's alright. 80 SpAtk is actually something and it has some alright defenses and immune to Earthquake, so sure, it'll learn every special move you can think of. Give it some screens and even Seismic Toss and you'll have a cute egg that can actually weirdly fight. And Helping Hand to be more supportive. You will miss out on STAB completely, but it's really for the best, since your array of special attacks will be much more preferable. But seriously, give it back to Hordel.
Oh yeah, there's also the new move Shadow RAAAAAAAVE which is a special 70BP move with 100% accuracy that hits both opponents. It's an upgrade to Shadow Wave and that's about it. Woo!
If you're going to stay on the road, you should stock up on supplies here. I've got a selection of POKEBALLS, too! For the longest time, POKEBALLS were just good for catching dust. They're selling again, thanks to wild POKEMON!
That's a good selection. Net Balls are almost cheating on all the various Water and Bug types we'll be catching (still plenty of those) and hey, Nest Balls are actually useful since there's still some Shadow Pokemon under level 30. Not many though, so they're still pretty pointless, but it's something okay. Timer Balls are going to be helpful as always, even if they take ages to get going.
I bet your POKEMON are outstanding, too, little guy. If the opportunity ever arises, I'd like to have a battle with you. Fu... though I doubt you could beat me.
Ah, north, of course. Uh, north where?
What's late game is early game for this game, but also, what's postgame is late game too. Or something.
You're the kid that sent CIPHER packing in PHENAC, aren't you? You were on TV. Hey, listen. Let's have a battle, you and me. Yeahah! That's the spirit! All right, all right. Over here, this way!
What a dork. I love him.
Willie Battle
This guy has never been strong, so let's not change that now.
Since dril is sucking up most of the exp, our team's levels are getting back to normal, kinda. How long will it last?
Eh, not long, he's nearly caught up.
Alright, that should about do it for this update, next time we'll be heading to the Snagem- hmm, the Spot Monitor just went off...